Memorandum
TO: All You Evil People Out There
FROM: Bob

You know who you are. You’re the people who have an auto-sig on your email that says:

please consider the
environment before printing this e-mail.

FYI, I hate you.

Your auto-sig suggests that I’m constantly printing emails, but your magic reminder will dissuade me from killing trees even as my mouse cursor hovers over the Print button. Let’s face it, I print out one email for maybe every ten thousand I receive. I’ve read about these people who print out every email to read “offline”. These people also use fax machines. Like most people under the age of 100, I am not one of those people.

Just to spite you, I’d like to print out every email you stupid people send me, but then I’d have to get up and go to the printer 50 times a day, and we all know that’s not going to happen. You dodged a bullet on that one.

Also, have you ever considered the hard drive space that your stupid auto-sig takes up? I bet miners digging metal ore to make hard drives harm the environment way more than printing an email ever could. So you’re probably hurting the environment with your emails, you spotted owl murderer.

Do I write you emails that say “please consider the fact that you are stupid before reading this e-mail”? Granted, that is probably a good idea, but somehow I’ve found the discipline to refrain. Please, return the favor and stop it already.

Regards,
Bob

P.S. please consider the
environment before printing this blog.

P.P.S. See how annoying that is?!?!?!?